Wednesday, August 7, 2013


 My Grandma Nelson who I love with all my heart passed away a week and a half ago. I grew up about a mile away from this amazing lady.  We would go visit her most every Sunday and she would make treats. We spent holidays at her home with cousins and it was a fabulous time. She loved her family.  I can't remember going to her home very often that she was not reading a book, had the TV on, and was crocheting a blanket for her great grand-babies.  Have you ever tried to do that many thinking things at the same time?  She had some great skills.  The blankets she made are so  beautiful. The one She made for Alyssa, Ashlynn has taken over and calls it her Easter blanket.  I am not sure why.  It is pretty pastel Easter colors. The date of my dear sweet mom passing away when she was WAY TOO young was also coming up August 2,  I was missing her. I was feeling pretty sad that I was not going home for my grandmas funeral.  My heart was breaking. It was just a REALLY ROUGH week all around.
On facebook after my grandma passed away the grand-kids were talking about her famous buttermilk cake she always made.  Ashlynn and I decided that was something we needed to make in memory of her.  I think I ate most of it. 
 I am pretty sure I miss my mom as much for my kids somedays  as I do for myself.  First no one loves you like a mom does. I miss having that.  My mom loved my kiddos and as you can see, her eyes were filled with magic when she looked at them. I really miss that not just for me but for them.  Her every moment was spent loving her husband,  her kids and grand babies.

 As we walked out of the woods from a hike we were on last week 2 days before my Grandmas Viewing this BEAUTIFUL rainbow filled the sky.  At my moms funeral my cousin Amy with the voice of an angel,  sang a song about rainbows and how they are a message to us all that FAMILIES ARE FOREVER!

Once their were some children named Scott, Lori, Todd, Jeremy, Jana and Trish.  They had some great friends, BUT their GREATEST friend was their mom.  Not in some sissy way or anything like that.  She was just different then other moms.  While they were busy going to fashion shows and  parties and work, she stayed home, with them.  They played in the back yard together, go on bike rides sit on the swing and have long talks.  She was the BEST COOKIE MAKER on the whole block.  At least that's what the other kids said.  They really thought she was special.
Then one day the kids dad called them all together.  Their mom hadn't been feeling well and the dad had just talked to the doctor and these kids were scared.  They could only be with their mom a few more months, and they had to make the most of it.  She said I'm going away and I won't be coming back.  I'm dying.  Big tears came to their eyes and they said "MOM you just can't die."
She said, "It's okay I have no regrets.  I've been with you more than most moms are with their kids  in a whole lifetime."  They said,"I know mom but you can't die.  She said kids there's a SECRET and it's a special secret and I never want you to forget it,  FAMILIES ARE FOREVER..and even though you won't see me I'll still be their watching over you waiting for ya.
They said "but if we can't see you how will we know you are there.  She thought a minute. Then smiled and answered.
I'll build you a rainbow .  Way up high above send down a sunbeam, plum full of love, sprinkle down raindrops.  teardrops of joy I'll be happy as springtime watching over my kids.
When the time finally came she kissed them each and closed her eyes and she was gone. The kids and their dad as they left the hospital and went home all broke down and started to cry.  They held each other real tight and then they remembered the secret, they looked up and sure enough it started to rain and there it was right over their house a GREAT big rainbow just like she said. The kids said DAD, DAD it's all right families are forever. 
 I'll build you a rainbow.  Way up high above, send down a sunbeam, plum full of love, sprinkle down raindrops, plum full of love.  I'll be happy from HEAVEN watching over my KIDS!!

I still miss something about my mom everyday that will never change. I don't dwell on all these things but every so often and once a year around this time especially I think about and remember how perfect I had it when she was here.    Despite her being gone I know my relationship with her continues to grow.  When I am doing something that she used to do, or something she taught me I feel her close. At times,  I am a better mom just thinking she might be watching and will kick my butt when I get to heaven if I mistreat her grand-kids.:)I feel blessed by her still today.  I know she helps watch over me and my family.

 I'm am so thankful to know that my mom is with her mom again.  Now my mom has someone to call her and ask to go to the dollar store everyday.  My mom never understood why her mom loved this store so much, but she loved to be with her mom and would go with her.  I love and am thankful that someday we will all be together again forever.

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