IMPLACABLE GRANDEUR:)

 I have a mind that never stops, if it is not listening to talks on cd or something it can be very destructive/crAzY at times:)  The last few nights,  I wake up in the middle of the night and off it goes, as I have tried to keep it towards thinking POSITIVE. Help it not worry about things.. (important things such as,  I wonder if when I went to the dentist yesterday he accidentally or purposely would have done something to make my teeth start going crooked again. Maybe he would have made it so I would need more dental work, my jaw hurts really bad.  If I don't do A today with my kids,  will that cause them to not want to do B when they grow up, then it will be because of me, sounds reasonable RIGHT? Like I said destructive kinda CraZy :) Anyways,  I have had this recurring thought.



  It comes from a movie I have not seen in years but love very much.  The line that keeps popping into my head is from Mary Poppins. She is talking to Jane and Michale about the outing with good old DAD,  she says, "sometimes the person we love through no fault of his own cant see past the end of his nose."  Jane replies,  Past the end of his nose.  Mary replies,  Sometimes a little thing can be quite important.

Why would I keep having this thought?  The first few days I was unsure.  However a few days after having it numerous times I was putting on earrings when I had a thought "LOOK UP."  I did and this quote was on my dresser from December 2011.  I'm pretty sure that's the last time I read it.

IT READS  "For if there is sin against life, it consists perhaps not so much in despairing of life as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable  grandeur of this life.
Robert Camus

I sometimes forget to look past the end of my own nose. I see the work of the moment instead of the  IMPLACABLE GRANDEUR of this MOMENT, this season, this time of life. 

During this same wake up call week as I was hoping by some miracle the dishes would be done when I went downstairs and perhaps instead of being thankful for a working Husband, I may have been being a little annoyed that J.D. would be late yet again due to a guard meeting.    This song came on.  The weird thing about this is Alyssa LOVES the guy who sings this song and listens to his CD often.  I however had never noticed the words until that moment.  It was the perfect words that I needed to listen to at that moment.

MAN I HAVE A BLESSED LIFE!!!!!!

May my eyes be FOCUSED well enough to see past the end of my own nose.  May I remember that those little moments that seem monotonous at times really can be quite important in the eyes of my husband and children..  May I notice ALWAYS the IMPLACABLE GRANDEUR of this life God has given to me dirty dishes and all:)