Parenting Takeaway #3 Be mindful of the outcome, control your anger!

For the last seven weeks I have been in this parenting class. For my final project I am writing up three separate posts on the readings, assignments and videos I found to be the most beneficial to me as a parent. This post is parenting takeaway #3.

Week three featured some of my favorite people. When I was young, my dad talked often about the lessons Stephen R. Covey had to teach him. I believe my father's love for self-help books and inspirational stories is why I have a passion for them still today. 

                                                                                                                                                                                                                 

LINK-        Dr. Phil Biggest mistakes parents make

My favorite quotes from these videos...

"Keep believing in the people." Stephen R. Covey 

It is so important that our children know that we believe in them. Sister Hinckley's daughter said in a Podcast I listened to the other day that one of the best things her mom did for her was to believe in her.  Even when she became an adult her mom found opportunities to let her know she thought she was doing a great job at living life. I love that!

"Love is the most powerful form of discipline there is." Dr. Phil McGraw

I love that thought for MANY reasons. I have never been great at disciple. I am a little soft in that area. This thought tells me that it is okay that I am, as long as my children know that I love them. I believe in the saying that "LOVE is a verb." It is an action that takes time. I can say "I love you" to my children all day, but if I do not show them by my actions, they could be left wondering.

One of the questions in the discussion board for week 3 was...

When we parent our children, we need to be mindful of outcomes. What might the different outcomes be when following the example of the parents in both videos?

I ruminated on this question even after I posted my answer, which was...

"Based on the fact that Steven Covey showed his child that he believed in him, he will have a greater chance of believing in himself. When a child has faith in who they are, they tend to extend that to the people who are around them. When children believe they are capable of great things, they often behave in a manner that indicates this belief." 

The outcome for the four year old girl looks pretty amazing. The mother is starting out a little rough and this is causing the girl's world to be full of chaos. However, the fact that the mother is showing she wants what is best for her child shows she is teachable. Her daughter will learn this gift from her mother. It is obvious that the mother is a hard worker, and a little overboard when it comes to setting high expectations. As she lets her teachable side tame some of that, all of her qualities work together and  provide a great outcome in the child's life.  As the daughter mirrors the teachable side of mom, she will learn to control her temper tantrums.  Once the mom listens to Dr. Phil's advice, the fact that mom has had such high expectations could cause her daughter to turn out to be a complete angel.

On my initial post I did not fully answer the question. My teacher kindly mentioned this to me and I did not want to miss points so I went back and answered the question. I do struggle to state what the actual outcome for parents will be based on their parenting style. 

My father told us a story when we were growing up about two brothers who were raised by an alcoholic father. When the two boys grow up, one of them becomes a menace to society and acts like his father. The other runs for state senator, and has a beautiful family and successful life. When the two brothers were asked what made them turn out the way they did, their answers were exactly the same--"Look at my father, what do you expect." 

The benefit of being a human is that we get to choose to be a victim of our past, or a leader of our future. Having said that I do believe our children learn behaviors from the environment they grow up in. 

In week four we discussed the importance of nurturing a child. Part of this nurturing involves learning to control your temper. It is difficult to nurture when you are angry! As I look back over my life, I see the times when I have lost my temper with my children or spouse and the outcome/memory is heartbreaking. 

The only times I have witnessed my older boys truly cry is when their parents were yelling, and lost control of their tempers. I am thankful we have forgiveness as part of the parenting plan. It becomes apparent as we watch the Dr. Phil video how critical it is to gain knowledge as a parent. The mother was excusing her behavior due to the fact that her intentions were good. Her plan, not so much. As someone once wisely said, "we cannot do better, until we know better." 

As we studied some of the prophets thoughts on anger, the thought I continued to have was, "be mindful of the outcome." That was A KEY takeaway, "Controlling your anger becomes more attainable, when you ARE mindful of the outcome." It is easy to fall into the trap of excusing bad behavior in ourselves. We rationalize that the behavior we are exercising, is a result of the situation we are in. It is easy to feel that someone caused use to act a certain way. The prophets make it very clear that we have the agency to behave in a kind hearted manner, no matter what the situation before us is.

 I love this quote from President Hinckley, 

"Never forget that these little ones are the sons and daughters of God and that yours is a custodial relationship to them, that He was a parent before you were parents and that He has not relinquished his. Now, love them, take care of them." As I read these thoughts from prophets, it built my testimony of how much they love us. I feel that as they guide me, they desire the same things for me as I want for my own children--for them to know whose they are. These prophets make it clear that life and the circumstances we find ourselves in will cause us to feel anger. It is a normal emotion. They also make it VERY clear that we are responsible to use our agency to control that emotion and not act upon it. As President McKay said so perfectly, "Control it! Do not express it!"

Parenting Takeaway #2--The way we interact with our child communicates something to them everyday!

For the last seven weeks I have been in this parenting class. For my final project I am writing up three separate posts on the readings, assignments and videos I found to be the most beneficial to me as a parent. This post is parenting takeaway #2.

In week three, we were assigned to study and do a write up about D&C 121:41-45. I studied this section with the footnotes, wrote my article, and then asked my husband what he thought? He kindly responded, "You have missed a key element of this scripture, you have nothing in here about correction." I explained that the scripture is actually not about correction but about teaching children from an early age. He went on to explain to me the part I was overlooking, and WHY correction is an essential part of this scripture. 

I love that in this scripture, we are taught that the technique we implement when correcting a child is equally important as the correction itself. 

During this same week we studied chapter 10 from this book By, Dr. Haim G. Ginott

In this chapter, Dr. Ginott focuses on these seven principles of empathetic communication:

1. The beginning of wisdom is listening.
2. Do not deny your child's perceptions.
3. Instead of criticism, use guidance. State the problem and possible solution.
4. When angry, describe what you see, what you feel, and what you expect, starting with the pronoun "I."
5. Praising.
6. Learn to say "no."
7. Give children a choice and a voice in matters that affect their lives. (W03 Study: Ginott)

As we studied these seven principles and D&C 121,  I found myself having an "aha moment." I believe these two teachings are congruent when it comes to parenting.  It is essential to teach my children the principles I want them to live by from day one. "Reproving betimes" means to plainly teach my children in a loving manner, from the moment they are born. When they need to be corrected, I act with wisdom, kindness, and understanding.  This can often be difficult to do in the heat of the moment. I frequently find myself acting in complete opposition from these seven stated  behaviors.

Dr. Ginott states, "The beginning of wisdom is listening." I am curious how many angry moments could be avoided if we simply stopped and took the time to listen before the problem occurred. 

In week 4 we read this quote.  

"Surveyed youth express that the number one action they wished their parents would do is spend more time talking to them."

I found myself pondering on this thought over the following days. I became determined to be more intentional about listening and validating my children. 

Here is one of my findings.

-Ashlynn continually complained that her legs felt like bricks and she could not move them even one more step. She hated this hike and wanted to go home. JD and I continued hiking without conversation. We responded from a distance numerous times, "you are fine, your legs can't hurt that bad, this isn't even hard." These comments caused her to behave even more upset, which in turn caused her parents to start to become more upset. 

A few weeks later, Ashlynn had a completely different attitude about hiking. What made the difference?  I believe it had a great deal to do with remembering what I had learned in class and applying it. I started to validate the way she was feeling, while I continued to hike. I asked her questions, and made hiking an activity that was about bonding, not about hiking. It made all the difference. 

When children do not obey and act out of control, the easy way is to punish. Choosing to listen, validate, and respect requires us to be intentional about our parenting.

Dr. Steinberg focuses on four areas of avoiding harsh discipline:

1. Never use physical punishment.
2. Don't be verbally abusive.
3. Controlling your anger.
4. The right way to punish.

#1-Dr. Steinberg makes this statement in regards to physical punishment. "When I say never, I mean never. no matter how angry you are. Physical punishment is bad for children." In D&C 121 verse 43 . we come across the word sharpness. This word is often looked at as a word to mean strict, but it is synonymous with perceptiveness, alertness, keenness, intelligence; attributes that we would use if the Holy Ghost was guiding our actions and behaviors. As we raise a child from birth, with a well-defined understanding of what is expected of them and using the Spirit to guide us, they come to understand what is expected of them.

#2-Parents are caught in a whirlwind of emotion everyday. Without notice we can become caught of guard by needy children. In these moments we may have a tendency to say things to our children that are unkind. In those moments may we never forget this brilliant thought from Dr. Steinburg, "First, your success as a parent depends in part on the degree to which your child believes that YOU have his best interest at heart. Remember, telling your child that you are disappointed in them for what they have done (which is fine to do) will work as a punishment only if your child cares about your opinion of them. The meaner and nastier you are, the less your child will come to care what you think. It's common sense." I love that. We must be kind in the way we speak about and to our children.  I believe that in D&C 121 where it discusses, "whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy," is referring to the previous verse. If I teach my children these things at an early age, and then act as a hypocrite and show guile in my actions, they will eventually esteem me as their enemy. I cannot expect of them what I am unwilling to live.  At times when I have taught my children one thing, and then behaved differently, they call me out and are upset with me.

#3- "When you are talking to your child about his misbehavior, you want him to focus on the message, NOT the way it's being delivered.You may get away with harsh verbal discipline when your child is little, but by the time he has turned eight or nine, you will have cashed in all of your emotional chips. YOU can't afford to do that. You've still got a lot of child rearing ahead of you." (Dr. Steinberg)  

In other words...Parents, STOP raising your voice to your children and control your anger. 

Dr. Steinberg tells us that the right way to parent is to focus our remarks on our child's behavior rather than on our child. The child is not terrible what they did is terrible. Focus on the specific behavior in question he states and ALWAYS think about what you say before you say it. 




"One of the most important things you have going for you as a parent is that your child comes into the world with a natural desire to please you." Dr. Steinburg I LOVE THAT!!!
My key takeaway is how important it is to interact with our children in a manner that we DO NOT mess that up.
This is why D&C 121:45 is such a key component in this group of scriptures. As a parent we have millions of reasons every day to lack confidence in what we are doing and how we are doing it.  I love the promise this scripture makes. As we show charity in the way we live and act towards others, our children learn by example to do the same. As we practice faith in the way we talk and live, our children observe. As we watch, look at, and participate in virtuous things, the Holy Ghost can be our constant companion. "THEN" our confidence begins to wax strong as a parent. We slowly come to understand the things God needs us to do as a parent that will bless our children to have the Holy Ghost as their constant companion (vs 46). When we show our children, by example, that faith is a dependable entity they can count on during hard times, their testimonies are strengthened (vs 44). Children learn to trust God unceasingly as these progressions take place together in a family (vs 45 footnote c). Together, we come to recognize the Spirit guiding us in the commonplace moments of our lives. Together, we learn what it means to live on the path that will lead us back into the presence of our Heavenly Father again.

Parenting Takeaway #1-- How we parent plays a vast role in developing our child's mindset

For the last seven weeks I have been in this parenting class. For my final project I am writing up three separate posts on the readings, assignments and videos I found to be the most beneficial to me as a parent. This post is parenting takeaway #1.


Dr. Ginott pretty much sums up the many ways I am parenting in the WRONG way.  I tend to give threats I never plan to follow through with such as, "If you do that one more time you are grounded for a month." Let's face it. That would discipline me more than it would my child. I bribe and make promises to my children daily, in an effort to get their jobs done around the house without them arguing.  When they do argue, I am often guilty of verbal overkill, which also makes me guilty of rude teaching of politeness. It is difficult for a child to understand the concept of being soft-spoken and kind when you their parent is continually bellowing. 

The ironic thing is the chapter for this unit is titled "There is not a right way to do a wrong thing." 

The following are seven patterns that Dr. Ginott focuses on:

1. Threats
2. Bribes
3. Promises
4. Sarcasm
5. Verbal overkill
6. Sermon on lying and stealing
7. Rude teaching of politeness

Dr. Ginott, suggested "bribes seldom, if ever, inspire continued efforts." I can testify this is true.  I find that I use bribes WAY too often in an effort to "buy temporary compliance" because bribes will often work instantaneously. When I don't use a bribe, I am faced with a temper tantrum. Then I am responsible to find a logical consequence I can stick to. This requires time and discipline on my part.  It makes me tired thinking about the amount of effort all of that would require.  A bribe is most often a simpler "in the moment" solution. 

In his article "What's the Problem With Bribes," Dr. Steven Dennis stated "temporary compliance is not victory." This really connected with me. Dr. Dennis gives five suggestions for ways parents can move towards influencing their children to do good out of influence, not manipulated obedience.

One of these suggestions is "Timing is everything."

I have found that the positive outcomes for a parent and a child when implementing this suggestion is that it limits expectation. When a reward is offered each time a child has a concert, or finishes something, the joy for achievement withdraws. A child focuses only on what they will get from an experience, not the actual experience itself. When we suggest the views from the top are the real reward from a long hike, it becomes a positive experience for the child and the parent. The child is not constantly driving the parent crazy asking for a reward once they conquer the hike.  They feel accomplished inside because they made it. Dr. Dennis gives this recommendation when it comes to rewards and timing, "Rewards promised before the action can feel manipulative. Do this and I'll give you an Ice cream. Un-promised rewards given in surprise after the action feels appreciative. For example,"Wow! We worked hard together-let's go for an ice cream!"

The number five suggestion is "The best rewards aren't physical/material." I can buy my child gifts all day. They will enjoy them, and then ask for more. If I do not spend time listening to them and showing interest in them, they will still act out in numerous ways. When my children were toddlers, I knew when I had let myself get too busy, and consequently overlooked my children during the day.  They began waking up all night. As soon as I gave them the attention they needed, they began sleeping through the night again. 

Many positive outcomes are to be had with older children when the reward is spending time with them.  Youth love knowing parents are interested in them, activities together builds a strong relationship. The more positive time a parent spends with their children the more willing a child is to talk to them about the hard topics. The other positive I have noticed is that when I neglect to notice my children for a few days it shows up in their behavior. I will try and buy something to make up for it. I feel it makes the behavior worse. Kids feel we see them when we spend time with them, and listen to them. Children’s behaviors are transformed in positive ways as we spend time with them.

I believe one of the goals of parenting is to raise children who are competent, confident adults. We want to raise our children in a way that when they are adults, they know the right choice to make. We want our children to be willing to listen to the advice of us and others, yet confident enough to trust their own instincts and follow them. Our goal as parents is to follow the popular song, "lead them, guide them, walk beside them, help them find the way."  When they are old enough, we show our love for them by getting out of their way.

This leads me to one of my favorite theories from this terms parenting class and my Key takeaway involving--growth mindset verses fixed mindset. As we study these theories we begin to see how a parent plays a vast role in developing their child's mindset based upon the way we implement the seven patterns Dr. Ginott focuses on.

Carol Dwek teaches us that mindsets shape achievements. The way we praise our children when they are young has an effect on whether our child's mindset leans more towards fixed or growth. As we challenge our children to do hard things, their innate human abilities can actually develop a growth mindset. 

I love the idea of raising our kids for "YET." 

Angela Duckworth incorporates this growth mindset to being a grittier child. She teaches us that children with grit know the difference between saying, "I can't do this," verses "I can't do this, YET."   A key takeaway for me from this section was "Grittier kids do more hours of deliberate practice. There is no relationship between your talents and whether you actually show up."  She discussed that it is the practice you do, that you don't want to do, that makes all the difference. 

GRIT:THE PASSION AND PERSEVERANCE

As much as I admire what these two women have to teach, and I do love the ideas they are suggesting, my favorite quote from class this week came from the discussion board. 

I stated the following idea from Angela Duckworth,  "I think that’s why our (child) needs to know that no one test can measure their potential to succeed in the future, because their potential in the future is about this passion and commitment."

One of my classmates responded with this insightful thought,

"Something I have thought about with this lesson, is that as a parent, it is so hard to watch our children struggle.  I would imagine that it is also hard for our Heavenly Father to watch us struggle.  Thankfully, we don't have to accomplish all of our challenges on grit alone.  We have access to heavenly help.  Elder Bednar taught: “I wonder if we fail to fully acknowledge this strengthening aspect of the Atonement in our lives and mistakenly believe we must carry our load all alone—through sheer grit, willpower, and discipline and with our obviously limited capacities" (Bednar, 2014).  Sure, this may not mean solving our problems for us, but it does mean that we can have strength to continue, despite the difficulty of the challenge.   -Shalise

This is so true as we seek for meaningful and instructive ways to uplift and motivate our children. As parents we are not always going to get it right and our children are going to make mistakes. Thankfully we both have heaven on our side!

Sunday & happiness

Today was my first experience having Relief Society over Zoom. Initially, I was not excited about having a meeting this way. I felt it would be better to let people do their own home church thing until we started up at church again. I was wrong! The unity of sisterhood increases, love grows, and the spirit speaks when sisters gather together...this includes over a Zoom call!

Today, the Bishop had zoom calls for the YW, YM and Relief Society at 11. It was a blessing to have this as part of our Sunday activities today. 

JD's parents came to visit today. We all played a game of croquet and the boys were sure it would be an easy win.  Granny won without even breaking a sweat!  

I think the boys want a re-match, I think she should give them one. They could use a little humility in their lives:).

I love Brittons attire during our morning game of croquet. 

Yesterday, I looked out the window and what did I see? 

JD smiling, using this old fashioned tool to fertilize the lawn. Almost in unison Britton and I commented, "Dad was meant to be a pioneer." 

The weather recently is out of control. JD and I decided to go hiking up by Snowbasin ski resort the other day. The weather was chilly but decent when we left. The hike was beautiful, even the crazy snowdrifts. We thought about hiking farther, but noticed a storm was coming our direction.

Minutes before we arrived back to the car was an insane downpour. 

It was beautiful to watch from inside the car. 

Ashlynn was able to check eat cherries in the rain off of her things to do list this week. 

We also discovered a new pet in our pond.

 I wonder if he will stay? 

My sister-in-law Wendy and I took Walker and Ashlynn to the Ogden Botanical gardens. 

Saturday, it was freezing but I wanted to go walking and thought it would be fun to go back to the gardens to walk around. Daxon and JD came along and we found an exercise trail. Daxon has been wanting a pull-up bar since he returned from his mission. He made excellent use of this station. JD and I not so much... LOL  

We bought some kayaks and a paddleboard this week. 

I can't wait to take them out tomorrow. 

Madeline started making and selling 

succulent plant arrangements this past week. 

I LOVE mine. 

She has a real talent for this. 

All of her arrangements are beautiful. 

Ashlynn has been in a baking mood. When she made her brownies we did not have eggs so she decided to use buttermilk?  As you can see from the photo, she discovered that buttermilk is NOT a good substitute for eggs.  Good thing we had Krispy Kreme as backup.

In my parenting class, some of our study this week was from Angela Duckworth "teaching your children grit." One of the ideas she suggests is the difference between saying, "I can't do this," verses "I can't do this,YET."  

Ashlynn loves baking and watching baking shows. Yesterday, she wanted to make cupcakes and do fun frosting decor on them. After the first few cupcakes she started crying that she would never be good like the icing artist. She complained, I can't do this." I responded, "YET. You don't know how to make the roses, yet."  

As Angela Duckworth points out, "Grittier kids do more hours of deliberate practice. There is no relationship between your talents and whether you actually show up."  

She discussed that it is the practice you do, that you don't want to do, that makes all the difference. 

I believe that applies to adults as well. The world does not only need grittier children, it needs grittier adults. We must show up for our children and our lives even when we don't feel like it. We live in a crazy time and we must stay gritty/faithful as an example to our children that the things we do each day matter. Pandemic or not...we got this!

Mindset

This weekend, Alyssa and Jake had Luke's baby blessing. 

Jake's dad is a bishop, so we were able to receive special permission to have the blessing in their home. 

Due to Covid-19 and the small gathering rules, we invited only immediate family and grandparents. It was a beautiful and perfect afternoon. 

As I look as these pictures, I feel blessed that my children have been blessed to marry into such wonderful families. I love Alyssa's and; Riley's Mothers-in-Law. They are both wonderful women who bless my children's lives in many ways. My life is blessed by my husband's family. I am thankful for the friendships I have because of them. I am thankful for the things I learn because of their wisdom. The older I get the more I notice how influential their example is in my life, my children's lives, and I am thankful. I can't help but notice that many of the attributes I love about my husband, he learned from his family. We do not marry a spouse, we marry a family. I feel blessed that both of my children who have married, have married into such spectacular families!

 I am thankful for Alyssa and; Jake they are adorable parents.  I am in a parenting class and we have been studying milestones. I have to say, either the studies are all wrong, or Luke is the smartest baby on the planet. He has been smiling since the day he was born. These are not GAS smiles. They are actual, true smiles and they are the sweetest thing ever.  Jake gave Luke a beautiful blessing and I pray these two parents know what an outstanding job they are doing. They are rocking this parenting thing! 

Yesterday I woke up and I was NOT feeling it!!! I felt tired, unmotivated, and pretty irritable. I tried looking up a few ideas for a family vacation. The ideas all came up empty due to the fact that many places are still practicing social distancing rules. I found myself getting to that discouraged place. I knew I needed to get ahead of it.

While we were visiting my dad this weekend, JD and I went on a hike with him up in the mountains. Something about hiking in the outdoors rejuvenates me. I asked Ashlynn if she wanted to go hiking and I was pleasantly surprised when she said, yes. 

We went to Adams Canyon Trail. We loved this hike. 

I am so thankful we got out of the house it made my "mindset" much better the rest of the day. 

The scenery was breathtaking.

I am also taking a wellness class and it discusses how the things our brain tells us we want, are not the things that will make us happy. I experienced that this week, as did Ashlynn. 

 Initially, I did not want to go on either of the hikes I went on.  My first response was to say no. Disciplining myself to go made all the difference in how I felt both days.  It is interesting how our brain can cause us to think we don't want to do something.  Then we find the act of pushing ourselves to do what we don't want to do, is the very act that brings us the most happiness and joy. Ashlynn was smiling from ear to ear all the way down the mountain. 

I finished the evening with this movie. 

 Though Eliud did not accomplish his goal in this movie, Eliud Kipchoge eventually achieved the goal of running a marathon in under 2 hours, in 2019. 

 I love the passion that these athletes have.  I love that when Kipchoge did not accomplish the goal the first time, he made it clear that it was still attainable. It was all about mindset, and he needed to prepare his mind to go faster.  Excellent advice for the obstacles life puts in front of us. I love the growth mindset of this guy!

Love being a Mom!

COVID-19 is still a thing but I am not going to title my blog with it anymore. Kids are finished with at home school, husband is back at work, places are opening back up, and life is getting a little more normal. Whatever that is!

Can I just say how much I LOVE being married to this brilliant man. I was headed to Logan on Monday, to help Alyssa with Luke while she went to the doctor. As I went to go over Sardine canyon my car started to do some weird stuff and I had the feeling I should turn around. It is a good thing that I did! I made it to Ogden and the car quit. I hate driving slow, I have a lead foot. On the way home I stayed in the slow lane and was behind a semi going about 55 MPH. The car was driving fine and I was arguing the entire drive with myself that I should get into the fast lane and go for it. That voice of reason kept telling me to stay put, I am so glad that I listened. When the car decided to stop, it was sudden without warning. I would have caused some serious issues for me and others on the freeway if I would have been in the middle lane. I am thankful for the spirit and the blessing it is in my life. 

I called JD, I explained what had happened and he knew immediately that the alternator had gone out. When he showed up to tow me home, I asked him where we were going to take the car. He said we were going to take it home. I was curious how we were going to get it fixed, if it was at home?  He responded, "I watched a youtube video, I am going to fix it."  We returned home, he bought the part, and the car is running perfectly!

JD bought me an Apple watch for Mother's Day. I LOVE IT!!!

I love that it gives me a goal to work towards everyday as I close all my rings. 

 As I walked out to get the mail the other day I noticed that

 Ashlynn had drawn this on the driveway. It made me smile!

 For Mothers Day we had a picnic, ran around the back yard, 

and spent time together as a family. It was exciting

 having two mommas in the family this year. 

I love being a mother. 

I am in a parenting class and a few of the thoughts I have loved from it recently are,

"Keep believing in the people." Steven Covey It is so important that our children know that we believe in them. Sister Hinckley's daughter said in a Podcast I listened to the other day that one of the best things her mom did for her was believe in her.  That even when she became an adult her mom found opportunities to let her know she thought she was doing a great job at living life. I love that!

"Love is the most powerful form of discipline there is." Dr. Phil 

I love that thought for MANY reasons. I have never been great at disciple, I am a little soft in that area. This thought tells me that it is okay that I am, as long as my children know that I love them.
 I believe in the saying that LOVE is a verb, it is an action that takes time. I can say I love you to my child all day, but if I do not show them by my actions, they will be left wondering.

 

 Ashlynn is so adorable with her bunnies. 

They are becoming quicker all the time,

 it is hard to keep up with them. 

Last week was the end of school work. This is wrap up week for her and Britton. I am a little sad about that, due to the fact that the 3 or so hours they were doing school work each day, we will need to figure out what to do with?!?!

 I love these pictures of Madeline from instagram.
Her and Riley were headed home from the great state of Iowa on Mother's Day. 

Madeline is such a blessing in our families and Riley's life.

COVID-19 Day 53 & 54 Livin the Dream

Friday JD and I went to Logan and took Alyssa and baby Luke to lunch.  For the past few months, social distancing has made it impossible to go inside and eat anywhere. This past week, stores and restaurants have begun opening their doors, with restrictions. After lunch, JD watched the baby for a short time while Alyssa and I ran to Downeast Outfitters. They are having a 70% off clearance sale. HAPPY, HAPPY, JOY, JOY!

 It was a fun afternoon. Being in the world at this time feels like being in a movie. Yesterday I was at Costco. The line to go inside was very long. You are not allowed to go inside without a mask on .  Unless you happen to be someone, I won't mention any names, who tells them you have a medical condition;). When you go inside everyone is wearing masks. It is a world so different from the one we were living in a few months ago. Although I am living in it, at times it does not feel like it is real. It is more like some messed up dream I need to wake myself up from:).

 Ashlynn's adorable mutual leader brought her this gift today. 

It made her day!

I asked Britton to go grocery shopping with me yesterday. For one of the first times ever he acted excited and said, YES. I figured it was due to being cooped up from the virus, but I was wrong. He put one thing after another in the cart. I think my grocery bill doubled just by taking him. How is it possible for boys to eat so much food?!?!

One of the things he wanted was this chocolate cake. 

As we were leaving the parking lot I look over at him and 

he is eating it with a credit card. It made me laugh out loud, I had to take a picture.

 Today we went on the Living Room trail hike. 

As you can see, at the top the rocks are set up to look 

like living room furniture. People were all over, sitting in the rock chairs and visiting. 

WE LOVED IT! 

Ashlynn took A LOT of coaxing to get up the first half of the trail. 

As you can see from the pictures, she was not happy about it at all.  

Once she could see the top, she flipped a switch and decided to take off. 

She was pure joy the rest of the time!

The boys were speedy fast going up and coming down.

 My goal is to keep up with them one day :). 

All those cars you see were for happy people on the trail.

This trail was crazy busy. 

As we were driving home Ashlynn noticed 

East High School and started freaking out!

You could say she is a bit of a fan when 

it comes to High School Musical. 

I am in a Marriage Skills class online at BYU. 

This week we had to make a meme about something we learned. 

On of the students posted this.

 I love it. What an excellent thought!

I absolutely love that the man I am married to is also my best friend!

COVID-19 Day 49-52 Back to Work

 The other day on Facebook I came across a link to family-friendly hikes in Utah. 

The other day we went on one of them, and today we ventured out to this one. 

It is located near Ogden Canyon. It was a beautiful hike. 

Daxon loves to go on hikes.

 The rest the kids love to go, once you FORCE them out the door. 

The option to stay home has to be taken off the table.

It is what we call mandatory fun in our family.

 Daxon started working full time this week. JD started 

working out of the home again this week. 

We are back to me, and the two school kiddos at home during the day. 

 Home-school is not something I would ever choose to do. 

I felt I never had the patience for it. I believe if I tried it, my children would fight me on it like crazy. 

They have missed going to school and being with friends. 

I have LOVED having my kids home with me. I feel this time is a gift and I am thankful for it. I can think of times when I wished so badly that life would slow down for even a minute so that we could all have a meal together. We have eaten so many meals together during this time. I think we do dishes more than we did when all our kids were at home. I love that we have time to say hello to one another in the morning. If we all want to stay up a few nights in a row and watch a movie, we do. 

I have a feeling with JD and Dax working now, this is going to come to an end. 

I found the secret to happiness while doing homework--
paint your nails :). 

On Sunday we went to my sister's for dinner and she did my toes and nails. I have never cared about having my nails painted and it is very rare that I do. My sister does nails for a career. As you can see, she is excellent at her job. I had a TON of homework this week. It was amazing how much more I enjoyed doing it, with these bright nails. It seems bizarre, but it really did make me enjoy typing my assignments more. That bright color continually in my view, caused me to feel happier while doing homework.  

Looking at the WELCOME HOME SIGN for Daxon this week made me happy. I love that he is home. Alyssa came to visit all day on Tuesday and being around her and baby Luke made us all happy. I am thankful for this beautiful life and the happiness surrounded in it!

COVID-19 DAY 46-48 JOY

This weekend was full of JOY!  

My sister called and asked if we would want to come have dinner with them on Sunday. We have been missing them terribly, so of course we said, YES. Her and her husband make the most delicious food you have ever eaten. They seriously should open up a restaurant.  While we were in town, we went for a walk with my dad. As we were walking we passed the sign above, I didn't initially notice that the rocks said anything. They are easy to miss, due to the fact that they blend into the surface. As we turned the corner, I looked to the side to notice that they spelled out a word. The word was, JOY.

I love the fact that someone took the time to spell out the word JOY, for all who pass. It is interesting how everyday joy resembles that same inkling as these rocks. Joy, is not often a noticeable entity, but most often something that lies within the canvas of moments in our everyday lives.  It often blends into the mundane moments of life. If we are not attentive, and somewhat watchful, we will miss it. 

Trishas children were adorable with Luke. 

I love how excited they all were to see him.

I love the way being a family connects 

you in such a beautiful way.

While we were in town Marie sent me this picture with this message.

"Like father, like son"

As I said, I love the way being family

 connects you in such a beautiful way!

Other moments that filled this weekend with 

PURE JOY

-My dad took Daxon and Britton four-wheeling all day Saturday with cousins. They had an excellent time. 

-We were able to visit my dad and spend time with him.

-Those who didn't go 4 wheeling went to JD's parents all day Saturday, to visit. We had a magnificent time visiting with them. Marie made us a delicious lunch. She always puts together the greatest meals! Luke loved having Granny Great hold him.  

-We were able to see and visit with some of Erin's family for a little bit when they stopped over.

-Alyssa took Ashlynn on a sister date to Soda Barn for cookies and soda. I may have given Alyssa my credit card to get me a cookie and I may have eaten way too much cookie! I love their cookies. Later that evening, Alyssa also took Ashlynn to Wendy's for dinner. Ashlynn was very spoiled by Alyssa this weekend. 

 Owen spent the night at grandpas on Friday and

 him and Ashlynn had a fabulous time.

I noticed this weekend Ashlynn did not want to leave Trisha's children's sides. She has gotten pretty lonely during this whole quarantine thing and I loved watching how happy being around Trisha's children made her. She did not want to come home with us, so she actually stayed with them. It is rare that I let my children stay places. I like them home and I have anxiety issues when they are not. As I watched how happy she was with all those kids, I simply did not have the heart to tell her no. Trisha is a saint for letting her stay. I already miss Ashlynn like crazy.  

I am thankful for family, 

I am thankful for the joy that they bless my life with everyday!

I had to put this picture in one more time. 

I love it so much!

Britton is such a wonderful uncle to Luke. He is continually 

begging to hold him and as you can see, Luke is pretty fond of Britton as well.