Today has been a day of reflection.
A few weeks ago my daughter and I were
discussing who would come to the hospital when she delivered.
She was nervous about too many little kids wanting to
hold her baby. I assured her that little ones holding
your baby, and looking down at them, is tender and magical.
Our conversation today was much different.
This beautiful daughter was feeling sad and distraught
over the fact that no visitors would be allowed in the hospital,
including her momma.
including her momma.
"What would happen when he was ready to be blessed," she wondered.
All of these moments look much
different when everyone is social distancing.
We went up to Logan today and spent some of the afternoon with Alyssa.
We are all so thankful she was able to have her
baby showers before all the crazy really started.
In these moments it is easy to let our minds fixate on what is being lost. As difficult as it can be, the Pollyanna syndrome is vital. For example, you can be glad you were able to have two baby showers. You can be glad you have amazing aunts and Mother in law, who had adorable baby showers for you. You can be glad everyone was able to come because the rules for social distancing were not a thing.
As a mother of five, I assure you the moment you and your husband see him, you will forget the logistics of it all. You will be in such awe that this little miracle is yours that nothing else will matter. Your mom, on the other hand, may or may not be trying to confiscate a nurse tag from someone to sneak into the hospital to see her first grand baby before he is a couple days old.
Yesterday, Britton decided to hitch a ride with my
dad to his house and stay for a few days. I know
this is completely against social distancing rules.
After saying no a dozen times, I caved and let him go. Last night I had
nightmares of all the things that could go wrong because of this choice.
When morning finally arrived, I became a little more rational and convinced myself that letting him go was the best choice. He is missing track and his friends, and who knows if his football season will happen or not. I can look at these things and feel like it's only a semester. To the youth, a semester feels like a lifetime. Tonight I received a text message that Utah was going on complete lockdown and I freaked out for a bit. The text was not reliable, but how quickly fear takes over and common sense goes out the window, when it involves our children. I called Britton to let him know his fun and games were over, we would need to bring him home tomorrow. Is this choice irrational, I don't know. What I do know is that when I read that text, all I wanted was Britton to be with us.
As we consider missionaries coming home early, being on missions in quarantine, couples not being able to get married with the big reception/wedding they have been planning for months, and seniors missing their graduation parties, it is easy to murmur about the life moments postponed or missed. As I was murmuring myself today, Nephi came to my mind. Nephi wrote the small plates when it made no sense for him to do so. He was unsure as to the why, other than the Lord commanded it. How thankful we are today that he did write those plates. What a treasure we have in those small plates. The world is full of uncertainty right now. All the precious moments we are missing may cause one to look up into heaven and wrestle with the WHY. I believe we can look to Nephi for the perfect answer when we are wrestling and feeling discouraged. 1 Nephi 2:12 says, "And thus Laman and Lemuel being the eldest, did murmur against their father. And they did murmur because they knew not the dealings of that God who had created them." I can often find myself counseling the Gardner on what He is doing down here. (Jacob 5:22) I pray I may always have the faith to find the positive and trust the Gardner. I have witnessed numerous times in my life, that all things do indeed work together for our good.
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